thank you all...

...and i mean it. the outpouring of support is tremendous from all sides. especially you guys. thanks again.

i saw mom today, spent a good deal of the day with her. donna was there, in and out, cleaning the house, responding to my mother when she needed something. joe is coming either saturday or sunday...it depends on which day he can get on a flight...nonrev travel has its perks but also its headaches.

as for my mom...she is her old self albeit tired and weak right now. she's getting, no, she is suspicious. she keeps asking why everyone is there: i show up on a day i usually work, emily comes down from atlanta, joe is coming up from st. simon's...its hard knowing something this big, this important, this personal and not know if you should tell the person. especially when the person is your mom. when joe arrives i'm gonna talk with him and i suppose we'll make a decision. well, we will make a decision. good grief, this is difficult. i should be able to just say "hey, the doctor told you a year but he told us 2-8 weeks". i think she should know, but i ain't the only son here. we'll see.

she told me she feels like she's on her "last leg". i simply told her "maybe you are, maybe you're not, noone knows for certain. but i'll tell you one thing: no matter what happens, you are the best mother anyone could ever have". and it's true. she got me through childhood, a good part of it by herself, and imparted more of herself to me than i ever thought i had. like stubbornness. i come by it naturally. and perseverance. and a lot of other stuff. the belief in god, jesus and church didn't stick and neither did her almost complete lack of technological savvy, thank goodness!

back in the first days of vcr's i once phoned her from a gig and asked her to put a tape in the machine, to record a show i shall not mention, and i talked her through the whole process. she did everything correctly except for one very important thing. i got home and there was the cassette sticking out. she put it in just not all the way in. oh well. i suppose i probably have done some things that would stick out in her mind, too. over the next few days, weeks, hopefully months, maybe years, i'll probe her mind for such. maybe i'll post them here. on second thought, maybe not.