rednecks and cockroaches

ok, here you go...today i put meira down for a nap and i lay down beside her. she was fussy but eventually gave up and went to sleep, so did i. now, eowyn won't let anything like that go on for long. those two are a study in opposites.

eowyn needs interaction and attention for most everything. she needs someone with which to play, although she can and does play by herself. meira can go long stretches of playing by herself, much like i was as a child, and can frequently be caught "reading" in the playroom. yep, she's a bookworm already. 18 months old and will sit with a book looking at every page. eowyn loves books too, but always wants someone to read to her.

anyway, i'm asleep. most days i try to close my eyes for a bit while sitting in the recliner. i put a movie on and if meira isn't napping she and eowyn will watch the movie. i close off most of the house so they can't have free range everywhere. if they need anything, they can, and do wake me. i may have been asleep for 10 or 15 minutes when i hear eowyn stomping around the side of the bed. "dada", she whispers, "when will you get up?". "in a moment", i reply. then, right outside the bedroom window, i hear a horn blast.

it ain't noone looking for me. i have no truck with car horns. if you pull up in front of my house and honk the horn you are out of luck. apparently our neighbor across the street has the kind of friends who can't get off their lazy ass to go to the door. i look over to see if meira is awake. she's not. THEN i hear....a voice. a LOUD voice.

it's not like any voice you would ever hear wafting in from across the street. more aloud to myself than to eowyn i said, "what the hell is that?". she says something but i don't know what. i get up. i hear the voice again.

we run a cd of ocean waves in the bedroom to keep out unwanted noises like dogs barking, neighbors arguing, gunshots from a few blocks over, but it filters neither horns of cars parked outside the window nor loud, authoritative voices. meira is awoken by all the goings on by this time and then i hear....the tones...ala close encounters of the third kind, just like on devil's mountain. i get a chill down my spine. a real chill. the voice starts again and echoes around the neighborhood.

even though i believe on the surface that alien encounters are all bullshit, i must harbor a deepseated wish for such because i say aloud to eowyn, "i think we are under alien attack". she says, "i don't like aliens". oops, got to watch what i say out loud.

then the voice booms out again. "THE NATIONAL WHEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A TORNADO WARNING FOR THIS AREA, TAKE SHELTER IMMEDIATELY!" i begin ordering eowyn to the middle of the house and i scoop up meira. i pause at the front door which i pass as i'm leaving the bedroom. "is this real?", i ask aloud. i open the front door and look out. sure, it's been a warmer day than the previous few but there are no stormclouds or wind. just overcast, gray sky. the tones begin again, my blood runs cold...aliens.

suddenly a crackling noise like someone fumbling with a microphone issues forth and a new voice, much less authoritative, more, um, redneck says "this is only a test. i repeat, this is only a test". well, so much for aliens. unless otherworlds have rednecks, too. probably they do. rednecks...and cockroaches.